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A couple Saturdays ago, my wife looked at the calendar and laughed.

"Do you realize we have five different things happening today?"

I looked.

A neighbor’s birthday party.

A play date.

Another neighbor’s birthday party.

A graduation open house.

And somewhere in there...

...a wedding.

Not a close friend.

Not family.

I think it was like my wife's cousin's neighbor's mom's wedding or something.

By the time Saturday night rolled around, we'd spent the entire day driving somewhere, watching something, buying something, or rushing to the next thing.

We finally got home.

The kids scattered.

I sat down.

And for the first time all day...

...nothing was happening.

It lasted about 12 seconds.

One kid needed help finding a shoe.

Another wanted a snack.

My phone buzzed.

I remembered an email.

Before I knew it, the silence had disappeared.

It made me wonder...

When was the last time our family was just...

home?

Not watching a movie.

Not running errands.

Not filling time.

Just...

there.

Doing abso-freakin-lutely nothing.

Somewhere along the way, we started treating every empty square on the calendar like a problem that needs solving.

A free Friday night?

We should invite someone over.

A Saturday with no plans?

We should sign the kids up for another activity.

An hour with nothing scheduled?

Perfect time to start renovating the kitchen.

We've become remarkably efficient at eliminating empty space.

The strange part is...

I don't think anyone ever told us to.

A neuroscientist would tell you that our brains have something called the default mode network.

It's most active during moments when we're not focused on a task.

Waiting.

Walking.

Looking out the window.

Sitting on the porch after dinner.

Far from "doing nothing," these quiet moments are little wonders where we figure out who we are, what we feel about this or that, suddenly spark ideas to solve problems, actually think about other people and relationships, and even ponder the cosmos or the concept of God.

In other words...

Some of our most important thinking happens when it doesn't look like we're thinking at all.

Our families need that too.

Not just our brains.

Our families.

Because the best conversations rarely happen on while racing to piano lessons.

Or in between meetings.

Or while hurrying everyone into the car because we're already ten minutes late to church. (Definitely keep going to church though, haha)

They happen when nobody's trying to make them happen.

When someone wanders into the kitchen.

When the kids build a fort.

When dinner somehow lasts an extra twenty minutes because nobody's in a rush to leave.

Research on family meals has found that the quality of conversation around the table is associated with higher positive emotion, greater engagement, and lower stress for teenagers.

Not because dinner is magical.

Because it's one of the few remaining places where life slows down enough for people to actually notice each other.

The irony?

We're scheduling our families because we love them.

Sports.

Music lessons.

Birthday parties.

Weekend trips.

They're all good things.

That's what makes this so sneaky.

Our lives aren't getting crowded by bad things.

They're getting crowded by good things.

Until one day...

there isn't enough room left for the thing all those good things were supposed to support.

Being a family.

I don't think we or our kids need less opportunity.

I think they need more margin.

More afternoons where boredom has a chance to become imagination.

More evenings where conversation has nowhere else to be.

More Saturdays where the biggest accomplishment is that everyone was home long enough to become a little less like roommates...

...and a little more like family.

This week, before you say yes to one more invitation...

Before you sign up for one more activity...

Before you automatically fill the next empty square on your calendar...

Try something that feels almost irresponsible.

Leave it blank.

Not because you'll waste the time.

Because you might finally have enough of it.

Then come hit reply and tell me what resonated with you most from this. I’d genuinely love to hear your story!

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- Kody

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P.S. These take 3 hours to research, write, and design. It only takes you 3 seconds to share.