🙏 Don’t say please, say this instead

Boost productivity & engagement with just two words.

Started a new note in my phone today to keep track of “Things I never thought I’d say before having kids”

First two entries are:

  1. “Don’t take zuchini’s on the trampoline!”

  2. “Do not stick pretzels in any part of the printer!”

Can only imagine the additions coming soon to this list. 😂

Also, remember my friend Jack Friks? He’s the guy who runs frik it filosophy, a sweet newsletter I’ve enjoyed the last couple months.

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Habit Example


What’s the one thing your boss does (or could do) to help you produce good work?

If the first thing to pop in your head is something like:

  • More pay

  • Promotion

  • Autonomy

  • Training

  • Inspiration

You’d (surprisingly) fall among some of the minority of responses from the O.C. Tanner Institute’s 2015 study.

So what was the most common response from 1,000 employees across various United States’ companies?

Lemme give you a hint:


"The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated."

William James


Yup, a whopping 37% said recognition is what they need to produce good work.

And if you tighten it up to just 25-35 year olds, that number goes up to 41%.

“But wait Kody, waddaya mean, ‘recognition’?”

Think of it like this:

  • Appreciation is what you feel

  • Recognition is when you tell ‘em

“Ok, so they want recognition… but does it really make a difference?”

To that I say, “if the boot fits!”

Just check out this 2013 study digging into the impact of recognition on employee engagement:


OC Tanner Study chart


Around the globe, the stronger recognition employees received, the more engaged they were in their jobs.

They also found strong recognition was almost just as likely to produce team members who proactively innovate way more often.

But at the end of the day, employees are humans, and it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch to imagine that similar outcomes could be seen in any relationships where we express our appreiciation often.

Be it your significant other, kids, your best friend, or your mother-in-law, more recognition won’t just make them better humans, it’ll improve your relationship overall.

So if you want happy, engaged, innovative people in your life, don’t say please — say thank you.

Most of the ideas shared today are from the book Appreciate, written by David Sturt, Todd Nordstrom, Kevin Ames, and Gary Beckstrand.

.I .

Try it


It ain’t complicated my friend.

  1. Pay attention to what others do today.

  2. As soon as you find something even remotely good...

  3. Share a sincere “thank you” with them, and if you feel compelled, share how much their effort means to you.

You will most likely make their entire day in this one action that’ll take you about 8 seconds.

What have you got to lose?


Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.

Fred De Witt Van Amburgh







Actual quote from my 4-year-old


(this one’s actually from my 2-year old)

sitting in church with a silent congregation

Him: “Daddy, you got boogers in your nose!”


animated divider


Thanks for reading!

- Kody




P.S. This took 3 hours to write. It only takes you 3 seconds to share.

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