❤️‍🩹 Andy Grammer’s grieving strategy

how to go on the offensive with loss

We’re already 1,008 habit builders strong!

YOU are why I spend hours and hours every week researching, writing, and editing — sometimes till 3am.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading Habit Examples, for sharing it with your friends, and for applying what you learn here in your life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And now I’m sitting here while my kids serve me a smorgasbord of toy breakfast.

They keep asking me to come help them build a tower, so I better finish this up and hit send!

Hope you enjoy 🙂 


Habit Example


On January 4th, 2009, singer-songwriter Andy Grammer’s mother Kathy lost the battle to breast cancer.

In his own words:


All I knew was I had lost my center, that there was a huge whole in my world and that it could never be filled.

Andy Grammer


That is, until he discovered a way to channel the pain.

He calls it “grieving on offense”.

Here’s how it went down a few years ago:

While traveling for a concert, he went to breakfast at a restaurant near the venue he’d be at that night.

Across the restaurant sat 5 “SUPER CUTE elderly women”, as he put it.

He’s made a habit of keeping an eye out for women that look about his mom’s age (if she were still here), and these ladies fit the bill.

After a little internal debate of whether or not to do it (since he doesn’t like bringing attention to himself when helping people), he followed his gut feeling and offered to pay for all their breakfast.

“Listen, my mom passed away and one of the things I like to do for her is just pay for women’s breakfast. It would mean a lot to me.”

Right then, one of the women starts bawling.

She goes, “I lost my son and he was about your age.”

Next thing they know, they’re both hugging.

Filling a tiny hole in each others’ hearts.

And what’s beautiful is this isn’t an isolated event.

He quietly does these kind gestures to total strangers all the time, all in honor of his sweet mom.

“The downside is sometimes you look stupid”, he says, “but when you live that way, crazy stuff happens.”

What is grief, if not love persevering?

Vision (WandaVision)

.I .

Try it


If you’ve lost someone, how can you live and serve in honor of them each day?

You might make a habit of buying people’s food like Andy Grammer, or maybe just go out of your way to hold the door open for someone.

Say hi, offer help, or offer a compliment.

You might just do it and quietly move on, or if it feels right you might let them know you’re doing it in honor of your loved one.

You never know how much that might mean to them since chances are, they’ve probably lost somone too.

Try it once this week, and if you like it, make a habit of it once a month, or even once a week.

Just imagine how honored and proud your loved one will be to know the good you’re doing in their name..







Actual quote from my 4-year-old


“My tummy hurts. Here’s the problem… I ate too much food, I didn’t get enough sleep, I walked around a lot and played on the deck.

And that’s the whole experiment.”


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Thanks for reading!

- Kody




P.S. This took 3 hours to write. It only takes you 3 seconds to share.

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